It doesn’t take a village – it takes a parent!

A couple month’s ago, I was at a mastermind meeting for business owners.  We help each other come up with marketing ideas and campaigns for our respective businesses.

One gentleman owns a family-oriented Italian restaurant.  We were helping him figure out how to advertise more effectively that he was “kid-friendly.” 

Another member in the group suggested that he purchase handheld video games (like Nintendo DS) for the kids to play while waiting for their meals.  The group loved this idea so much they went on and on about how this would occupy the kids and give the parents a break.

GIve me a frickin’ break!

From just casual observation – I would say many parents are giving themselves too much of a break.

From kids constantly plugged in to ipods to DVD players in the car and restaurants, do you mind if I ask a question?  When do parents actually talk to their kids nowadays?

This summer I went to a friends house for a party.  A boy who was about 10 or 11 sat inside on the couch with his earbuds in playing a handheld video game while his parents were outside playing horseshoes, bean bag toss, etc.

I decided to invite this boy outside to play the bean bag toss game as my partner.  At first, he played with the earbuds now plugged into his mp3 player.  I finally asked him to remove them so we could “strategize”.  Once he could actually hear us cheering him on, poking fun at the other team (his father and father’s friend), he started to really get into it. 

When it was time to eat, he didn’t want to stop. 

His mother said to me, “I can never get him off that video game.”  Really?

Last month, I saw a little girl about 6 or 7 at a Bagel Shop with her mother who was having lunch with a friend.  The little girl watched a DVD player (with earbuds in) the entire lunch.  I’m sure this was convenient for the mother – not to be bothered.  But it sure bothered me.

Now before you get mad at me, let me just say that I know parents need a break. There is no job harder, longer and more emotionally and physically taxing than raising children.  But it seems the previous generation of parents got their breaks in the form of school, naps and play dates (you know, “you take my kids, I’ll take yours”).

This generation seems to think there is nothing wrong with occupying their kids 24×7 with electronic stimulation.  (Wow, I sound like I’m 75!) 

If your kids aren’t listening to you – cause you aren’t having to talk to them – how are you influencing them?  How are you teaching them your values?  What values are they learning?  How are they learning to communicate?  How are you bonding with them?

I know one family with three kids ages 9, 7 and 3 who have a strict one hour per day video game and TV rule.  Yes, there is often whining and bargaining to contend with (“please can’t I just finish this one game?”).  These parents both work full-time.  Believe me, they could use the break. 

But they seriously believe they are doing their children a disservice by allowing too much time in front of the “boob-tube”. 

Maybe it’s just a coincidence but their kids are well-behaved, very sociable and incredibly bright.

But don’t take my word for it.  If you disagree, do some research.  Find out what what the experts in childhood development say.  Or better yet, take an objective look around.  

When parents “check-out” of the job of parenting, everyone loses.