Why most goal setting is useless!

Why is it that most people don’t reach their goals even though they are set with the best intentions?  Let me share with you the Top 3 reasons I think we don’t meet our goals.

1)    We set our goals based on outcomes – Most of the time, we set our goals based on results that we can’t control.  Getting a $5000 raise or losing 10 pounds is – unfortunately – not within our control.

What is within our control is the strategies and activities that may lead to the outcome we want.  For example, let’s say we do want to lose ten pounds.  One strategy is eating less and better. (There really is no rocket science or magic pill is there?)  And the activity could be to eat five small, balanced meals per day and have one splurge meal on the weekends.  Those are within your control!

A second strategy may be to workout more. The activity could be to power walk 3x per week for at least 30 minutes. Great – that is also within your control.

2)    Most people don’t get what they want because they are really focused on what they don’t want. I came across a website called www.goalsettingisuseless.com and I loved this concept.

“As powerful as it is, your brain doesn’t understand negatives such as no, don’t, and avoid.

What this means is that if you have a goal of not being broke, the only image you’re feeding your brain is, being broke.

If you don’t believe me, try this exercise. Imagine not being at the beach. Try really hard. Imagine not being at the beach. I’m not saying that you aren’t capable of thinking of something other than being at the beach but at best, it’s a three-step process that always begins with the image of a beach.

It looks like this:
1.    The image pops in your head about a beach
2.    The thought is, “Oops! I’m not supposed to be thinking about being on the beach so let me pick mmm…driving”
3.    Image. I’m driving.

So you can’t think about what you don’t want to think about without thinking about it so think about that. The point here is that the only way to think about not being on the beach is to think of somewhere else. So you might say, it’s no big deal to just change your focus like that and you’re right. The problem is that most people don’t make that simple focus change when it comes time to achieve their goals. They’re too busy focusing on what they don’t want.”

3)    Exercise:  Think of a goal you want to achieve and by when. Write this down.  Now using a scale from 1-10, write down how confident you are that you will achieve this goal.  1 = no way, not going to happen and 10 = absolutely, no doubt in my mind.

Got your number? (If you haven’t written down a goal yet, please do it now before you read on!)

I believe that many people don’t reach a goal because it’s not realistic for them.  They don’t have the confidence they need to reach it.

Okay, so here’s what the interpretation of these numbers mean.

10: it’s a done deal. This goal is going to happen and it’s probably going to happen beyond or faster than the timeframe you set for it.

8 or 9: You’re going to get it done and most likely in the timeframe that you set.

5 to 7: You may reach the goal but it will most likely take longer than the time frame you set.

1 through 4, it’s a pretty good guess that you’re not going to accomplish this goal and certainly not in the time frame that you selected and what I would question is “Is this a goal that’s been on your list for a long time? And if so, you really have to think about that goal and why you want it?

When a goal keeps showing up on your list and it’s been there 3, 4 years in a row, it’s almost more discouraging to have it on there and it feels better to just cross it off, release it, and let it go.

Goals should be a stretch and they should inspire you to do better than you’ve ever done before but the truth is, I hear people set goals that are very unrealistic and I don’t want to be the one to say, “Are you kidding me?” But really, you have to look at your goals from this confidence perspective.

Now take out your goals for this year.  You have them written down, yes?  And change them to fit these three criteria.

And just watch what happens…